Can't believe I actually wasted 4 months right after I have finished my final semester class in the early August this year. Well, I have been making excuses to my parents and those who are concerned about my future undertakings that "Oh well, I'm actually taking a good long break for myself." Probably it ain't an excuse because I did go to several states in Malaysia and flew overseas, Adelaide, South Australia. Yes, you read it right. Australia, AGAIN. You might have that little thought running through your mind "Nasty, she's such a lazy bump. She's not good enough. She's probably lost motivation or inspiration. She's lifeless," Negative thoughts go on and on. But I don't give a fuck about my life, why do you even try to criticize me? Duh, whatever and put both middle fingers in the air.
I enjoy doing things that I lost track for years. I can stay more focus on my part time art class job like creating crafts and new drawing for kids. Also spending some quality times with love one watching television, movies (Mostly comedy or cartoon. Great way to de-stress) and recently painted a horse. It looks horrendous to me that my skills were rusted. Give me some time to improve them, not perfect, but hopefully near perfection. *cross fingers* Also during this long break, I finally figured out which position I should apply for a job interview. Yeah, like finally. At the moment the job best suited me would be a VM (Visual Merchandiser) or Account Executive (Servicing Dept). Time to redo my CV, edit my portfolio page (digitally) and a simple presentation slides about myself (like SWOP, skills and etc.). Working with an SMP just makes me go nuts. I don't seem to get them to apply into each section of my portfolio.
I love writing and I love blogging with comprehensive one, back then. I never used to like writing until I need to buck up my studies for my SPM qualification exam, but I do hope to get a chance to learn, like joining a writing class to see how much fun it is to write. Frankly speaking, writing has no rules and restrictions. I want to learn to express myself through the way I type. I want to learn how much fun it is to keep an online diary in the form of a blog which I see my friend who are so well-written and also speaking. I used to love learning new words and improve my grammars. I used to get lots of inspiration from different English bloggers, but a lot of restrictions for me to stop writing. I just couldn't find a right time to instill this passion. I am always a three-minute-heat person that I get attracted to new things easily. Just recently I have fallen in love with baking with online recipes. So much fun and a good way to keep a smile for yourself and other people when they tasted good baked from you. And I am seriously considering a career in writing. Only time will tell and also if I get a chance to re-learn writing. Nowadays lacking of copywriters make most of the companies out there pay good amount of salary. Who doesn't want to earn a high pay right? *hahaha*
Another news, I just turned 21 years old not long ago. Traditionally in Chinese culture, we officially received a "key" which equally means we are given freedom or a key to adulthood. I’m not spending my 21st birthday bar hopping to get free drinks. Instead, I’m spending my 21st birthday with my boyfriend, family, parent's friends and a bunch of my friends, throwing a common birthday party at my house. So far I have only been to several countries like Bangkok, Koh Lanta (Thailand), Perth (Western Australia) and Adelaide (South Australia). That's pathetic right? I haven't explored my neighbor country like Singapore, Indonesia, Phillipine yet and many more countries on my list. But I'm glad that I just travelled all the way up north in Malaysia (Not sure if I'm geographically correct because I always messed up reading maps). Soon to explore down the Peninsular of Malaysia. A little bit of excitement, mainly I want to explore Johor the Hello Kitty cafe and the Premium Outlet with good and cheap branded items. Taiwan, Hong Kong, Japan, Korea, Europe, other parts of Australia (Sydney, Melbourne, Goldcoast, Canberra, Tasmania and etc.), Phillipine, Singapore and more is on my list. Voila~ Can't wait for my Kuching trip for next week, even though it's an event job for cars because we get to drive around, food hunt and do some souvenir shopping. Yay!
Just another day I rant about my life here. Good luck to everyone out there! Enjoy what you're doing! (:
With Love,
Audrey Tan
Yesterday night was a great shocked in my life. Three of us in the car and we could be killed just in seconds, if we aren't lucky. Thank God we were all fine, but endured minor injuries like bruises, swollen, slight cut with blood, neck sprain and backache. Yesterday was a last day of holiday and everyone was rushing back to the city from their respective hometown therefore heavy traffic congestion on the highway even though we chose the old road. We planned to fill up the petrol tank since the petrol meter showed at 'E' sign. Once we exited from the petrol station and a distance away sudden brake due to heavy traffic congestion nearby a mosque on our left side. Just merely a few seconds, a car came from high speed and hit on our back, we had an impact on our neck and second hit again from the back car. Unfortunately, we couldn't evade the front car and another extra victim in this accident. We lodge a police report of this incident and our car was over heat. We have no choice and stop at the roadside after passing elite toll. We tried cranking to start the engine again and we managed to see a pit stop 5km away but we didn't manage to make it there because the car chose to breakdown probably due to gasket burn within a 1km distance. We called for his dad helped and towed the car away and his dad picked us home at 2am. We sent his mum to hospital for a check up due to swollen leg under the knee. Glad that after all the scanning she was totally fine, no bone fractured or etc. Today we felt neck sprain and body ache all over probably due to the impact from the accident. I felt really sore and tired almost feeling like fever but I took some Panadol. Hopefully I'll be fine real soon. I can't bear the neck sprain as I hardly get to twist my body as I sleep or force myself to get up after lying down around. The good news is we'll have a turbo car and a more powerful horsepower on another car! I pray this incident will be the first and the last worst shocking moment in my life! Drive safe, take a rest if you're sleepy, don't play the phone while driving if you can't handle it and don't kill the innocents!
Best Regards,
Audrey
There's this uncertainty that makes me feel so unfair towards everything he does. Yes, I am talking about the attitude and management skills of his. I was very frustrated at people who thinks they are good for all round. Excuse me, no one is born perfect. Not even near to perfection.
You misjudged me for not attending the first group meeting because I was a way to a trip to a research, whereas another member of our group was away to overseas was fine. What sorcery are you referring to?
Do not give me that particular unfriendly eyesight that you could almost swallow me into your dirty, oily and disgust belly. Come on, chill and be fair dude. Throwing your tantrum because I did not help much for the first section by giving me so many tasks to be completed? What about the other member of our group? Do you find it fair? And most importantly, what you verbally said to me in the class comparing to your last-minute-post on Facebook were utmost different. What are you trying to do, man of disgust and shame?
I would like to purchase some cheap items as well for fundraising. That seems much simpler to me to complete the task instead of completing 2 proposals. You're so afraid of your minimal level of Enlisgh, therefore you're trying to push this responsibility to me? Wow, such a good leadership you had there. Do not try to chase me away by putting fears onto me. I am not afraid at all. You want to be a bad guy? Now, let me done this first before you. I felt good that way. Thanks to all your dirty tricks.
Lastly, using another task as an excuse and miss-in-action for at least 3 weeks without contributing a pinch of salt towards the project. I am glad with my complaint filed, you did an average job. I would say it was done rough, improperly and without a clear direction. I am glad to help explain and further elaborate ideas for your execution. Lecturer praised me though. *smirk* The more you want to see what I've done, the more I purposely avoid showing you what I had. Mind you, beware of your body language and verbal tone towards a lecturer. Do not be over confident, that actually might irritates many of the clients in the real world. I was laughing at your gesture and tone manner.
I still personally think that you have poor leadership skills based on my years of experiences for team building courses and leaders for clubs and societies back then at high school. Yes, double thumbs down for you yeah. *giggled*
Yours truly,
Audrey Tan
The clock struck at 4.32am while I started typing right now. Yes, I'm whispering to myself that "Hey, come on! 4 days more to go until the day of freedom! Hang in there, stop procrastinating and finish up everything, send for printing, and you're pretty much done for submission!"It may seem easy to say that to myself as a motivation, but I guess this semester has been really dreadful and tiring for me. A lot of bad happenings for school stuff, I just didn't want to mention here. My mum walked into my room and questioned me if I'm very stressed and lots of assignments to be completed upon tight deadline, I answered yes and I told her roughly what happened to me. I'm struggling really badly this semester. Mainly, I lost my passion into it. I figured out, I just want a graduation certificate of the Diploma. I'm not doing this for anyone, not even for myself. The pressure, deadlines, assignments, requirements, critiques and many more are just sucks. Compared to other local design schools, I would have graduated earlier and easier by achieving probably four flats at any other school. TOA syllabus is just too tough and ridiculous. Many have lodged complaint pertaining this yet action was not taken. I know is an industry training, but heck, I don't think so. I've been compiling advices around from the professionals out there. I am planning to further studies for the Degree but definitely not design related. Mum agreed and support for what are my plan for the future. I don't want to kill myself anymore with sleepless nights, cries, clueless, hopeless, getting stressful, sick, extreme hair falls, no home cook, negativity, competition from peers, and a lot more. Besides that, I don't even have time to do shopping or groceries, also I'm always in a bad temper and neglected my boyfriend most of the time. I'm very thankful indeed that he does not give up cheering for me. I'm so fed up already. I would really salute myself to graduate this year end. I would utmost appreciate sleeping and healthy lifestyle after graduation! *yells on top of my lung!* I can't wait for the surprise prepared from my boyfriend, he didn't want to tell me but I know it's something that relaxes me. That's what he always does. I love you.
With love,
Audrey Tan
This year just wasn't my year. A lot of bad things happened lately. People disturbed us for nothing, we do not know them. We were purely innocent and bullies don't work on me. I am a fucking independent and self protective girl. I am none of the girls you have seen out there. Indeed, I am very strong to solve things on my own, but I figured out I can do even better. I talk with evidence, reasons and witnesses. Don't come to me with the word "bully" and you don't have the next plan.
I was glad that in my age of 20, I went through the roughest and toughest moments. It gave me a lot of experiences on how to deal with different assholes and bitches in a smarter way. Which means, don't fight over the internet for fame. Sometimes, silently winning the war could be happier. Why bother mixing them around and discuss the ridiculous matter with a bunch of stubborn, idiotic and immature people who don't understand what are you trying to convey? And also they'll never bow down, admit their faults, roll and squeeze up their balls and just be a spectator. They just want to win in a dumb way. All you need to do is to take a gulp and swallow the anger away. Believe me, that way you live happier.
Extra explanations are not needed for my previous post. As a friend, you won't be that calculable or you apologize that "whoops, I think I calculated the service charge over the budget."Obviously, there's no such drama, you're just being a clown and making fun of yourself. As i said, volunteering to help does not receive paid. Go be a freelancer instead. The question is, "our friendship does worth Rm50 only?" Wow, that was a joke.
And people who are not involved in the incident tonight, do not talk cock posting Facebook creating havoc. I am big-hearted and cool enough to be ignorant of what you post. Never your parents taught you, do not listen of what is not you heard and do not trust of what not you see? Or probably you're lack of moral education. I do a screenshot and collect everything you guys posted that is referring to me for my future evidence to fight back. It does not make you have more fame and cooler by posting all these statuses. Your status could make it more obvious by tagging the person's name, if you have the balls (guts). Which you look more like a sissy when your girlfriend case happened a few months back. Oh, referring to your status, you did not watch the whole happening episodes. Don't judge and give false info when you're listening from third parties, loser. Oh well, you have got nothing to do with my life anyway. If you ever touched me, I make sure you'll get hurt or die. You don't know my background well, dude.
Thank you for Uncle R for his advice, thoughts, sharings and lessons. I do appreciate that I spoke to you and I sincerely learnt how to let go, be smart, don't get into troubles easily and making fun of myself in public.
Blessings,
Audrey Tan
Last year A was planning an effort of baking homemade cake for the girlfriend for her birthday party, with B, C, D and E's help. B volunteered himself in the baking process. A couple of months after the party which is today, B brought up this issue, telling C how unsatisfied, that A owed him RM50. This was utmost ridiculous!
Bear in mind, firstly, A bought all the ingredients, cake box, stickers and other materials himself for the baking. Secondly, B volunteered himself in the process. A, C, D and E did not use a gun pointed at him fiercely to involve. Why is there a need for A to pay him the RM50? B is in the process of graduating, becoming a chef. If B provided the recipe, there is no copyright. Why do A have to pay to buy the recipe? As a student, most recipes were provided by the school or lecturers and guides from the internet sources. If B was so calculable, A should have cancelled the plan putting so much effort by substituting buying cakes from the bakery shops.
Dear B, understand the meaning of VOLUNTEERING. Volunteers do not receive pays, they do it for what makes them happy or their hobbies. If you want to get paid, switch yourself to be a FREELANCER. Learn the difference? You may refer your dictionary or free thesaurus on the internet. And the cake we bought you, we paid, you're so selfish that you don't want to share a small slice with everyone. You are so impolite instruct us to finish up the overbaked homemade cake and you wanna keep the cake we bought from bakery at home for yourself to enjoy. What kind of sorcery is this? eww, cheapskate.
Money minded people do not gain my respect at all. Yes B, you do not have my respect at all. I felt so sorry for your late puberty at the age of 20. You're so mean, calculable, immature, insane and money minded! Not to forget, you're an asshole!
With love,
Audrey Tan
Mixed feelings wrenched at my heart. I got less motivated than the day I first got my scholarship and picked my favorite course study. I don't know if it's my personality has changed or the harsh comments that doesn't make sense from lecturers. Lecturers are giving us a hard time and we are definitely doing what they want like an owner instruct the dog to bark. Instead of giving us freedom to express our creative ideas and understand from our point of view. They don't change and hope to change us to be the next them? Sorry, I don't do that. Art shouldn't be this way, please show some respect as a senior is you want to get respected too.
I know deep inside, this is my 2nd last semester, which to be ending soon and left a short semester next. But I just feel like quitting what I am currently doing. I have no idea what I have been doing this semester. Every day my brain would send me a signal, "hey, skip the class if you can't finish the work based on what they want."I feel bad doing it but I left no choice. When the ideas don't come, I should take a break, relax and start working back on my agenda.
Yes, many may easily tell me "don't give up, you can do it." But dang it, you are not in my shoes. Please don't assume design requires no reading. It needs lots of reading research, writing, ideas, creativity and etc. I just feel like I am going to burst in no time.
I just wish I could travel the world (my dream since young) and work less or at least a freelancer.
