The clock struck at 4.32am while I started typing right now. Yes, I'm whispering to myself that "Hey, come on! 4 days more to go until the day of freedom! Hang in there, stop procrastinating and finish up everything, send for printing, and you're pretty much done for submission!"It may seem easy to say that to myself as a motivation, but I guess this semester has been really dreadful and tiring for me. A lot of bad happenings for school stuff, I just didn't want to mention here. My mum walked into my room and questioned me if I'm very stressed and lots of assignments to be completed upon tight deadline, I answered yes and I told her roughly what happened to me. I'm struggling really badly this semester. Mainly, I lost my passion into it. I figured out, I just want a graduation certificate of the Diploma. I'm not doing this for anyone, not even for myself. The pressure, deadlines, assignments, requirements, critiques and many more are just sucks. Compared to other local design schools, I would have graduated earlier and easier by achieving probably four flats at any other school. TOA syllabus is just too tough and ridiculous. Many have lodged complaint pertaining this yet action was not taken. I know is an industry training, but heck, I don't think so. I've been compiling advices around from the professionals out there. I am planning to further studies for the Degree but definitely not design related. Mum agreed and support for what are my plan for the future. I don't want to kill myself anymore with sleepless nights, cries, clueless, hopeless, getting stressful, sick, extreme hair falls, no home cook, negativity, competition from peers, and a lot more. Besides that, I don't even have time to do shopping or groceries, also I'm always in a bad temper and neglected my boyfriend most of the time. I'm very thankful indeed that he does not give up cheering for me. I'm so fed up already. I would really salute myself to graduate this year end. I would utmost appreciate sleeping and healthy lifestyle after graduation! *yells on top of my lung!* I can't wait for the surprise prepared from my boyfriend, he didn't want to tell me but I know it's something that relaxes me. That's what he always does. I love you.
With love,
Audrey Tan
