Life experiences

This year just wasn't my year. A lot of bad things happened lately. People disturbed us for nothing, we do not know them. We were purely innocent and bullies don't work on me. I am a fucking independent and self protective girl. I am none of the girls you have seen out there. Indeed, I am very strong to solve things on my own, but I figured out I can do even better. I talk with evidence, reasons and witnesses. Don't come to me with the word "bully" and you don't have the next plan.

I was glad that in my age of 20, I went through the roughest and toughest moments. It gave me a lot of experiences on how to deal with different assholes and bitches in a smarter way. Which means, don't fight over the internet for fame. Sometimes, silently winning the war could be happier. Why bother mixing them around and discuss the ridiculous matter with a bunch of stubborn, idiotic and immature people who don't understand what are you trying to convey? And also they'll never bow down, admit their faults, roll and squeeze up their balls and just be a spectator. They just want to win in a dumb way. All you need to do is to take a gulp and swallow the anger away. Believe me, that way you live happier.

Extra explanations are not needed for my previous post. As a friend, you won't be that calculable or you apologize that "whoops, I think I calculated the service charge over the budget."Obviously, there's no such drama, you're just being a clown and making fun of yourself. As i said, volunteering to help does not receive paid. Go be a freelancer instead. The question is, "our friendship does worth Rm50 only?" Wow, that was a joke.

And people who are not involved in the incident tonight, do not talk cock posting Facebook creating havoc. I am big-hearted and cool enough to be ignorant of what you post. Never your parents taught you, do not listen of what is not you heard and do not trust of what not you see? Or probably you're lack of moral education. I do a screenshot and collect everything you guys posted that is referring to me for my future evidence to fight back. It does not make you have more fame and cooler by posting all these statuses. Your status could make it more obvious by tagging the person's name, if you have the balls (guts). Which you look more like a sissy when your girlfriend case happened a few months back. Oh, referring to your status, you did not watch the whole happening episodes. Don't judge and give false info when you're listening from third parties, loser. Oh well, you have got nothing to do with my life anyway. If you ever touched me, I make sure you'll get hurt or die. You don't know my background well, dude.

Thank you for Uncle R for his advice, thoughts, sharings and lessons. I do appreciate that I spoke to you and I sincerely learnt how to let go, be smart, don't get into troubles easily and making fun of myself in public.

Blessings,

Audrey Tan

Money Minded

Last year A was planning an effort of baking homemade cake for the girlfriend for her birthday party, with B, C, D and E's help. B volunteered himself in the baking process. A couple of months after the party which is today, B brought up this issue, telling C how unsatisfied, that A owed him RM50. This was utmost ridiculous!

Bear in mind, firstly, A bought all the ingredients, cake box, stickers and other materials himself for the baking. Secondly, B volunteered himself in the process. A, C, D and E did not use a gun pointed at him fiercely to involve. Why is there a need for A to pay him the RM50? B is in the process of graduating, becoming a chef. If B provided the recipe, there is no copyright. Why do A have to pay to buy the recipe? As a student, most recipes were provided by the school or lecturers and guides from the internet sources. If B was so calculable, A should have cancelled the plan putting so much effort by substituting buying cakes from the bakery shops.

Dear B, understand the meaning of VOLUNTEERING. Volunteers do not receive pays, they do it for what makes them happy or their hobbies. If you want to get paid, switch yourself to be a FREELANCER. Learn the difference? You may refer your dictionary or free thesaurus on the internet. And the cake we bought you, we paid, you're so selfish that you don't want to share a small slice with everyone. You are so impolite instruct us to finish up the overbaked homemade cake and you wanna keep the cake we bought from bakery at home for yourself to enjoy. What kind of sorcery is this? eww, cheapskate. 

Money minded people do not gain my respect at all. Yes B, you do not have my respect at all. I felt so sorry for your late puberty at the age of 20. You're so mean, calculable, immature, insane and money minded! Not to forget, you're an asshole!

With love,

Audrey Tan

L.O.S.T

Mixed feelings wrenched at my heart. I got less motivated than the day I first got my scholarship and picked my favorite course study. I don't know if it's my personality has changed or the harsh comments that doesn't make sense from lecturers. Lecturers are giving us a hard time and we are definitely doing what they want like an owner instruct the dog to bark. Instead of giving us freedom to express our creative ideas and understand from our point of view. They don't change and hope to change us to be the next them? Sorry, I don't do that. Art shouldn't be this way, please show some respect as a senior is you want to get respected too.


I know deep inside, this is my 2nd last semester, which to be ending soon and left a short semester next. But I just feel like quitting what I am currently doing. I have no idea what I have been doing this semester. Every day my brain would send me a signal, "hey, skip the class if you can't finish the work based on what they want."I feel bad doing it but I left no choice. When the ideas don't come, I should take a break, relax and start working back on my agenda.

Yes, many may easily tell me "don't give up, you can do it." But dang it, you are not in my shoes. Please don't assume design requires no reading. It needs lots of reading research, writing, ideas, creativity and etc. I just feel like I am going to burst in no time.
I just wish I could travel the world (my dream since young) and work less or at least a freelancer. 

Till then,

Audrey Tan

Procrastination Kills

Every moment that I suppose to complete my research and tonnes of assignments, I'll be procrastinating for hours before I get my ass stick onto my chair to start working. This kills my weekly progress and development. Facebook seems to be so difficult to not inject into my daily dose. It's a permanent drug. This semester is really hectic that "GIVING UP" feeling crossed my mind severals times, but I'm thankful that people around me that gives positive strength and extra care to me. It's really warm-hearted to have a bunch of nice people like them. I believe imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring in life or even applying this sentence into my design. Sometimes it works, it really does.

Warm regards,

Audrey Tan